Tribute for Late Ashwani Kapoor
Picnicking with Ashwani Kapoor
Friends, food, drink and laughter are a great combination. Add to that a bright checkered cloth laid out on grass, kids running around, a waggy-tailed dog joining in the chase, and you’ve got the makings of a great picnic.
That was the scene the last time I met Ashwani.
It was a bright sunny day in Southern California and a plan was hatched to go picnicking. Ashu and Alaka had become friends with Bittu and Rupa. Bittu (Maninder) was a Modernite (4 years our senior) and the son of family friends. My parents spent many summers in LA with Bittu’s folks and I would often go across from St Louis or Montreal to meet them during the 14 years I lived in North America. Those visits provided opportunities to meet Ashu and Alaka as well. It was great to hang out with them and relive old memories while also creating fresh ones.
A memorable night spent with them focused on early marital days in Alaska when Alaka had to adjust to Ashni (as she called him) and the in-laws. She vented to me as if I were a fond sister-in-law … which was apt. Ashu and I had become brother and sister back in School. Not the ‘legitimizing a crush’ type of fraternizing that often happened in Modern, but the acknowledgement of a loving, caring, protective bond forged over the years.
Ashu and I had been in A Section from KG through Class 8. Our motley ‘gang’ also included Gypsy, Sanjay, Ricky, Bharat, Devika, … , and even beyond Class 8, we hung out together, meeting for lunch on the Senior School lawns. A big ‘tiffin carrier’ would arrive for Ashu and we’d pool in our fare and have a picnic.
Another memorable picnic happened on my 16th birthday. We’d made plans to drive off somewhere out of Delhi in Ashu’s VW camper van but the vehicle broke down. We ended up picnicking in the driveway of his Pandara Road home, with his mom sending out blue and green ‘sherbet’ to accompany our sandwiches and parathas. A ‘KLPD’ moment turned into a party!
When I got the call in early December 2008 informing me about Ashu’s collapse on that dreadmill, I was in a state of shock. I’d just had a fun exchange with him on his birthday not even two weeks earlier. He told me how much he was enjoying being a father again in his late 40s when Kuvira was born after a long gap following big sisters Kavika and Kritika. He hinted that ‘this too could happen’ and I shouldn’t give up on the parent dream just yet.
The suddenness with which he dropped out, the turning of banter to grief—were a sobering reminder about the ephemerality of our existence and the fact that life is no picnic.
– Punita Singh
