Tribute for Late Vibhor Jain

Inspiring friends, never a bore

An ideas person, that’s for sure

But dull people, he did abhor

That was our dear friend, Vibhor

Beautiful handwriting, skilled at art

Unconventional mind certainly played a part

Progressive music, that was his style,

Time spent with him was always worthwhile

Admitted to IIT, on the first try

Even made it to NASA, another high

Seeking knowledge, almost to a fault

Nothing, it seemed, could bring it to a halt

Alas, fate is cruel, this world he has left

Leaving his friends feeling completely bereft

By Chaitanya

Vibhor Jain was born on July 31st, 1961 in Lafayette, Indiana during the time his dad (Dr. G.C. Jain) was an Assistant Professor of Electrical Engineering at Purdue University. His parents named him Vibhor on account of his pensive and deep penetrating gaze when observing the world around him. It was already apparent then that he would view the world with great circumspection. Vibhor was the middle child of three, and this remembrance is written by his older brother, Arun.

Despite his inquiring look and inherent thoughtfulness, Vibhor was a happy and enthusiastic kid. After the family moved back to Delhi, our dad enrolled him in KG at Raghubir Singh Junior Modern School where he immediately made his best friendships. I remember seeing black and white photos of him on the winners stand after a race and his always wanting permission to hang out with his friends.

My best memories of him though are those of when we were both in the Barakhamba Road Modern School. I remember him as vibrant, enthused and happy, always instigating, poking and prodding his cabal of childhood friends. The names that came up most frequently were Chaitanya Jain (Chittu), Ashwin Chhabra, Dev Benegal, Aromar Revi (Aro), and Saurabh Dube. Many of his friend’s parents thought the world of him. I knew from the chatter at home that they were all a gang of sorts and the thickest of friends. I remember that he coached everyone who needed it with their homework. He was passionate about helping his friends either see things in a different and often more revealing light or fearlessly enlightening them on what he saw as their own unrealized potential. As an older brother that moved a lot around between schools, I envied this deep abiding connection and continuity from a very early time. And yes, he too had his secret attractions for some of the girls in his class, but in that respect, he was painfully shy and restrained – he never married. He had many hobbies, but his most passionate one was stamp collecting.

For all that drive and intelligence, Vibhor had a terrible but still latent biological shortcoming. His body could not make enough dopamine and serotonin, both critical to maintaining mental balance. As a kid, these deficits didn’t impact anything, so none of us knew. But as an adult the full impacts of these shortfalls became evident. In his final year of IIT Delhi in Chemical Engineering and shortly after our father passed away, he had his first serious breakdown. These inadequacies of both dopamine and serotonin would severely impact the rest of his life.

An American citizen by birth Vibhor came into my care in the early 1980’s when I was studying for my masters’ degrees in Philadelphia. There I helped him get stable enough to resume his studies. He moved on to Boston University and then transferred to Case Western Reserve in Cleveland, Ohio where he studied under Dr. Coleman Brosilow a famous name in process control, computing and systems technology. These subjects were Vibhor’s great passions.

After suffering another series of breakdowns, Vibhor eventually moved to the San Francisco Bay Area where I once more took care of him. Beating out many PhD applicants Vibhor talked himself into a job at NASA Ames Research Center, where he modeled recycled waste systems for a future Mars Mission, his dream job. Despite everyone around him chipping in, his medical condition could not sustain him, and he eventually quit to his own great sadness and dismay.

Over the following years Vibhor took on more modest work that would allow him to focus on maintaining a better balance between his biology, mental well-being and passions. He worked for the Oakland Fire Department for over 15 years and then after finding a way to maintain a simpler and calm life he quit. He then donated all his spare time to helping the elderly learn how to use computers, helping a local bookstore sell rare donated books to support the area school library system, coaching kids on math and science, and growing his own vegetables. In each of these tasks he was the most infinitely patient and gentle soul you could imagine. He found great delight in cooking, and he read math and physics the way most of us would read fiction. He was always reading and writing his thoughts on how things connected across the social and physical sciences. He could link complex math to metaphysics in ways most of us would not think of.

All the love in the world could not cure Vibhor. Science does not yet understand brain chemistry well enough to target specific areas with precise medication. That meant that as the years went by the toxicity of the generalized and overcompensating medications he took built up in his system and created new issues. His last years were a great struggle and sapped away his will to continue to rebuild himself after each subsequent breakdown.

His last serious event was the most severe and heartbreaking. Even as he was in full recovery, Vibhor suddenly decided that he had had enough. He took his own life July 5th, 2017, just a few weeks short of his 56th birthday.

Vibhor would often wistfully share with me his deep love of life during his time in Modern School and lament just much he wished his biology would have allowed him to build on those joys and associations. That was not to be, which makes this remembrance even more poignant.

I hope all that read this, do so with the knowledge of just how precious his time with each of you that knew him was. They were without doubt, the best moments and time of his otherwise tortured life. I miss him deeply and hope you, his classmates will also remember him fondly and with love.

Written by Arun Jain
(Vibhor’s older brother)

October 16, 2019